We're all addicts. Our culture shames us to believe it to be otherwise, and sadly causes some to deny needing help when we can't quit things on our own - and often doesn't understand the real meaning of the word.
I know, you might be really upset with me for saying that and don't want to read further, but allow me to take you through this mini Q&A:
1. How many of us have ever been depressed? Maybe even had self defeating thoughts?
2. Anxious? Panic attacks? Racing thoughts?
3. Angry? Aggressive OR passively so?
4. Inattentive, hyper focused, and/or have problems with memory?
If so, you have suffered clinically diagnosable "Mental Illness"of mood or attention disorders. The scope (length of time), frequency, and duration are now the key to whether or not you might need clinical help to get things stabilized. No one's baseline is "normal", either, so if you are naturally depressed or anxious, etc... hormones and situations could trigger swings either way.
Now...
How many of us have done or do things that you were compelled to do which ended up messing with the goal of living a regular schedule of a healthy and well balanced life? How many have done things to the exclusion of health, work, play, fostering relationships, balancing finances, and maybe even breaking laws? And/or messed with your moods?
So, what can you be addicted to? Anything! Here's a sample list of possible culprits:
Caffeine, soda, junk food, sugar, food in general - either restricting or binging, OTHER PEOPLE, the Internet, video games, watching TV, nicotine, alcohol, drugs (over the counter, prescription, or street), spending money, gambling, over-exercising, over or under-sleeping, hoarding, being depressed or anxious. I had one patient say her drug of choice is her bed!
How do you become addicted? There are 3 main reasons people become addicted:
Heredity (nature and nurture), self medication for undiagnosed or mistreated problems, and "entertainment" (the search for the high). Trauma and grief/loss are key for many, as well. Life changes alone can be very difficult and becoming overwhelmed can cause us to seek things which numb us or take away from the pain of our thoughts and feelings. Addiction is progressive in this way as it feeds on itself for greater need to "use" and spiral down into the problems associated with it.
How do you know if you are addicted? Some of the signs that things are not balanced:
Compulsive behavior and thinking, guilt, shame, isolation, increase in fears, anxiety, depression, anger, weight shifts, sleep shifts, problems with life, procrastination, lack of interest in hobbies, lying, minimizing, justifying, rationalizing.
And the worst part is, our culture exacerbates - and sometimes encourages - addictive behaviors. How many endorsements out there do you see/hear for alcohol, prescription drugs, junk food, TV and video games, shopping, etc.... We also would help others in a heartbeat if they asked for it, but we DO NOT (generally) ASK FOR HELP. Sign of weakness, right? Wrong. It's weak to suffer and drag your loved ones down with you. It's incredibly brave and strong to admit you need help to change something in your life!
So, when do you need help? Well, the key to that is to whether or not you can CHANGE on your own. Addiction is in part mental, emotional, and physical. Obviously, drugs and alcohol - and some foods - have a direct physical component to their addictive qualities. You should not stop some of them on your own if you have been doing them for a long time because you might die in the process of detoxification - alcohol being among the greatest of those. Eating Disorders also have a deeply physiological and psychological component to them and generally need inpatient and long term treatment to survive. Changing your diet and exercise routines means finding a program or trainers to help you learn new ways of eating and being fit. Taking control of your life again could require a financial plan, talking to a Counselor, getting some meds to help balance the hormones, and learning new ways of doing things.
In the end, though, you have to JUST DO IT in order to change. There will be no catharsis. No act of God. And most of all: no one can make you - they can only help you - once you commit.
Some links:
National Mental Health Association http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
American Psychological Assoc link on Addictions http://www.apa.org/topics/addiction/index.aspx
12 Step Sites http://www.serenityfound.org/official.html
Post Script: The only difference between people with addiction is the lack of ability to quit them on your own. If you find that you are in a situation in which you can't, please seek the help of a Professional. There's no shame in getting help, despite what we tell ourselves. Some of the most genuinely resilient people I have EVER met are recovering addicts.
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