Joseph Campbell is one of my favorite authors. For those of you not familiar with him, he was a Mythologist, Sociologist, and avid Mentor of the 20th Century. He even influenced the writing of Star Wars with his works on the evolution of myth and society, and specifically his book about the journey of a Hero.
The basic premise to this journey begins with a person (or at least some cognitive being). Not yet a hero, this individual must accept the fact that they must change (though they might not see it as a change so much as a challenge) and thus begin a journey. Next, the protagonist goes forth to meet various challenges, gets some "gifts" from others along the way to help them, and ends up - at the end - a changed person. A Hero.
If you look throughout the history of oral and written mythological traditions of all peoples, you will find journeys of heros of all ages, genders, abilities, and sometimes of non-humans. You will find the same messages repeated through each story: acceptance, sacrifice, education, acknowledgement, goal achievements, and rebirth. It is this same exact process through which we all live, grow, and become in our own lives that is the beauty of these tales. And, like sharing our own stories with each other as we sometimes do, we can learn and be empowered by each others journey.
The thing is, throughout our lives, we take many mini journeys. In my line of work, I am blessed to be able to work with many people who are embarking on such trips to change themselves mentally, physically, and emotionally. Some of them have been trying their current journey for years, but something has kept them from making it through to the end, and so they come to my program for help.
I like to explain the process using the 12 Steps from Anonymous recovery programs, in part because the only way anyone can become a real Hero is to make lifelong changes that they continue to work through forever - and not just for a few weeks or months. Now, I know when I say 12 Step a lot of you think Alcoholics Anonymous - but that's not the only kind of recovery program, nor is it the only Anonymous meeting out there. There are meetings for every problem under the sun, and even for friends and family of people with problems they need help to solve - but the basic premise is the same: to give a guideline for change, and models the Journey of A Hero.
In brief, I will consolidate and summarize the Steps:
Step One: ACCEPTANCE that you have a problem you need help to fix, and SACRIFICE of whatever has held you back from getting help. This step is VITAL because no one can do it for you, make you do it, or desire the outcome more than you.
Step Two: Taking inventory of all your problems, what you want to change, and then gaining the EDUCATION and support you need to change the ones you can. Set measurable GOALS, and then put your change to action to ACHIEVE those goals.
Step Three: Realizing it's not weakness but strength to get help, and then forgiving yourself and asking others to forgive you for any harm your problems caused. This is the REBIRTH of you into a more resilient person who has more strength, humility, and wisdom to continue to grow.
Step Four: Continuing a commitment to stick with the changes and to continue to look for and change more problems as they arise, as well as sharing your changes with others as a peer and later a mentor.
My main message for this post: use this model whenever you realize you want to change something in your life. Take a journey, and know that it will not be easy, but it will be worth it. And, SHARE your story - whether it's as you go, or after the fact. Your journey is just as vital to the larger tapestry of our global society as the greatest Journey of A Hero ever told.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Nation of Addictions
We're all addicts. Our culture shames us to believe it to be otherwise, and sadly causes some to deny needing help when we can't quit things on our own - and often doesn't understand the real meaning of the word.
I know, you might be really upset with me for saying that and don't want to read further, but allow me to take you through this mini Q&A:
1. How many of us have ever been depressed? Maybe even had self defeating thoughts?
2. Anxious? Panic attacks? Racing thoughts?
3. Angry? Aggressive OR passively so?
4. Inattentive, hyper focused, and/or have problems with memory?
If so, you have suffered clinically diagnosable "Mental Illness"of mood or attention disorders. The scope (length of time), frequency, and duration are now the key to whether or not you might need clinical help to get things stabilized. No one's baseline is "normal", either, so if you are naturally depressed or anxious, etc... hormones and situations could trigger swings either way.
Now...
How many of us have done or do things that you were compelled to do which ended up messing with the goal of living a regular schedule of a healthy and well balanced life? How many have done things to the exclusion of health, work, play, fostering relationships, balancing finances, and maybe even breaking laws? And/or messed with your moods?
So, what can you be addicted to? Anything! Here's a sample list of possible culprits:
Caffeine, soda, junk food, sugar, food in general - either restricting or binging, OTHER PEOPLE, the Internet, video games, watching TV, nicotine, alcohol, drugs (over the counter, prescription, or street), spending money, gambling, over-exercising, over or under-sleeping, hoarding, being depressed or anxious. I had one patient say her drug of choice is her bed!
How do you become addicted? There are 3 main reasons people become addicted:
Heredity (nature and nurture), self medication for undiagnosed or mistreated problems, and "entertainment" (the search for the high). Trauma and grief/loss are key for many, as well. Life changes alone can be very difficult and becoming overwhelmed can cause us to seek things which numb us or take away from the pain of our thoughts and feelings. Addiction is progressive in this way as it feeds on itself for greater need to "use" and spiral down into the problems associated with it.
How do you know if you are addicted? Some of the signs that things are not balanced:
Compulsive behavior and thinking, guilt, shame, isolation, increase in fears, anxiety, depression, anger, weight shifts, sleep shifts, problems with life, procrastination, lack of interest in hobbies, lying, minimizing, justifying, rationalizing.
And the worst part is, our culture exacerbates - and sometimes encourages - addictive behaviors. How many endorsements out there do you see/hear for alcohol, prescription drugs, junk food, TV and video games, shopping, etc.... We also would help others in a heartbeat if they asked for it, but we DO NOT (generally) ASK FOR HELP. Sign of weakness, right? Wrong. It's weak to suffer and drag your loved ones down with you. It's incredibly brave and strong to admit you need help to change something in your life!
So, when do you need help? Well, the key to that is to whether or not you can CHANGE on your own. Addiction is in part mental, emotional, and physical. Obviously, drugs and alcohol - and some foods - have a direct physical component to their addictive qualities. You should not stop some of them on your own if you have been doing them for a long time because you might die in the process of detoxification - alcohol being among the greatest of those. Eating Disorders also have a deeply physiological and psychological component to them and generally need inpatient and long term treatment to survive. Changing your diet and exercise routines means finding a program or trainers to help you learn new ways of eating and being fit. Taking control of your life again could require a financial plan, talking to a Counselor, getting some meds to help balance the hormones, and learning new ways of doing things.
In the end, though, you have to JUST DO IT in order to change. There will be no catharsis. No act of God. And most of all: no one can make you - they can only help you - once you commit.
Some links:
National Mental Health Association http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
American Psychological Assoc link on Addictions http://www.apa.org/topics/addiction/index.aspx
12 Step Sites http://www.serenityfound.org/official.html
Post Script: The only difference between people with addiction is the lack of ability to quit them on your own. If you find that you are in a situation in which you can't, please seek the help of a Professional. There's no shame in getting help, despite what we tell ourselves. Some of the most genuinely resilient people I have EVER met are recovering addicts.
I know, you might be really upset with me for saying that and don't want to read further, but allow me to take you through this mini Q&A:
1. How many of us have ever been depressed? Maybe even had self defeating thoughts?
2. Anxious? Panic attacks? Racing thoughts?
3. Angry? Aggressive OR passively so?
4. Inattentive, hyper focused, and/or have problems with memory?
If so, you have suffered clinically diagnosable "Mental Illness"of mood or attention disorders. The scope (length of time), frequency, and duration are now the key to whether or not you might need clinical help to get things stabilized. No one's baseline is "normal", either, so if you are naturally depressed or anxious, etc... hormones and situations could trigger swings either way.
Now...
How many of us have done or do things that you were compelled to do which ended up messing with the goal of living a regular schedule of a healthy and well balanced life? How many have done things to the exclusion of health, work, play, fostering relationships, balancing finances, and maybe even breaking laws? And/or messed with your moods?
So, what can you be addicted to? Anything! Here's a sample list of possible culprits:
Caffeine, soda, junk food, sugar, food in general - either restricting or binging, OTHER PEOPLE, the Internet, video games, watching TV, nicotine, alcohol, drugs (over the counter, prescription, or street), spending money, gambling, over-exercising, over or under-sleeping, hoarding, being depressed or anxious. I had one patient say her drug of choice is her bed!
How do you become addicted? There are 3 main reasons people become addicted:
Heredity (nature and nurture), self medication for undiagnosed or mistreated problems, and "entertainment" (the search for the high). Trauma and grief/loss are key for many, as well. Life changes alone can be very difficult and becoming overwhelmed can cause us to seek things which numb us or take away from the pain of our thoughts and feelings. Addiction is progressive in this way as it feeds on itself for greater need to "use" and spiral down into the problems associated with it.
How do you know if you are addicted? Some of the signs that things are not balanced:
Compulsive behavior and thinking, guilt, shame, isolation, increase in fears, anxiety, depression, anger, weight shifts, sleep shifts, problems with life, procrastination, lack of interest in hobbies, lying, minimizing, justifying, rationalizing.
And the worst part is, our culture exacerbates - and sometimes encourages - addictive behaviors. How many endorsements out there do you see/hear for alcohol, prescription drugs, junk food, TV and video games, shopping, etc.... We also would help others in a heartbeat if they asked for it, but we DO NOT (generally) ASK FOR HELP. Sign of weakness, right? Wrong. It's weak to suffer and drag your loved ones down with you. It's incredibly brave and strong to admit you need help to change something in your life!
So, when do you need help? Well, the key to that is to whether or not you can CHANGE on your own. Addiction is in part mental, emotional, and physical. Obviously, drugs and alcohol - and some foods - have a direct physical component to their addictive qualities. You should not stop some of them on your own if you have been doing them for a long time because you might die in the process of detoxification - alcohol being among the greatest of those. Eating Disorders also have a deeply physiological and psychological component to them and generally need inpatient and long term treatment to survive. Changing your diet and exercise routines means finding a program or trainers to help you learn new ways of eating and being fit. Taking control of your life again could require a financial plan, talking to a Counselor, getting some meds to help balance the hormones, and learning new ways of doing things.
In the end, though, you have to JUST DO IT in order to change. There will be no catharsis. No act of God. And most of all: no one can make you - they can only help you - once you commit.
Some links:
National Mental Health Association http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
American Psychological Assoc link on Addictions http://www.apa.org/topics/addiction/index.aspx
12 Step Sites http://www.serenityfound.org/official.html
Post Script: The only difference between people with addiction is the lack of ability to quit them on your own. If you find that you are in a situation in which you can't, please seek the help of a Professional. There's no shame in getting help, despite what we tell ourselves. Some of the most genuinely resilient people I have EVER met are recovering addicts.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Nutrition, Health, and Sleep
Note: I'm going to try and promise to keep my blogs short and sweet - like amuse bouche, they will be just enough to feed your mind but not so long you get overloaded! At the end, I'll try to include more links for your edification if you are still hungry. Also, some online tools and sometimes other aids to help you on this journey to health!
So, I promised I'd write about nutrition this weekend, so my first post is going to be about general knowledge you need to know about food and your brain and body.
First off, your body needs fuel to move - even sitting around the house, your body is burning energy just to live. The more you move, the more fuel your body needs - ya'll know that already. But, how does the body use all that fuel? Well, think of what you eat like a chain: fat, protein, and then carbs. Your body burns them in that order, unless there's a problem (like if you drink alcohol - but that's another post!).
So, what does it do with all that food? First, if you work out even moderately to build muscle and work some cardio, then your body takes the fat and uses that for power. Then it uptakes the protein and converts it to muscle. THEN, the carbs kick in and get spent to power through to the next meal. This is why it's important to get enough of each of those items depending on your degree of energy output each day.
So, depriving yourself of carbs is not good on a long term basis, or if you are a moderate to high worker-outer because you NEED them to make insulin, which helps the process. Now, the cool thing about all this is that the complex carbs have a double plus - some contain tryptophan (an essential amino acid the body cannot make itself) which then converts to seratonin, which THEN converts to melatonin - and I don't have to tell you that seratonin is the neurotransmitter that helps you feel *cool* and the melatonin aids in sleep. In the right amounts, they DO NOT MAKE YOU FAT! In the wrong amounts, they mess with your ability to burn fat, which then gets stored. They also mess with your basic body function that is the MOST important one you do: SLEEP!
When you sleep, you should hit REM. When you hit REM, your body is in deepest sleep and - catch this - BECAUSE it's an /organic/ machine, it can HEAL ITSELF to a degree! So, the better sleep you get, the better you can function.
First tip, then, for brain/body health: SLEEP! And sleep well. Second tip is to eat the right amounts of "golden ratio" of fat/protein/carb. Replacing one meal of the day with a protein shake can help with this! BeachBody has a great one called Shakeology - the best one I've found on the market, and I've done a LOT of recent personal research on this very thing. If you are interested in more info on Shakeology, you can go to: www.myshakeology.com/jonnikhat
Some good links for further reading:
http://caloriecount.about.com/forums/maintaining/golden-ratio-carbs-protein-fat
http://frank.mtsu.edu/~studskl/food.html
http://www.livestrong.com/article/267111-tryptophan-l-tryptophan-to-help-aid-sleep/
Some tools:
http://www.freedieting.com/tools/nutrient_calculator.htm
So, I promised I'd write about nutrition this weekend, so my first post is going to be about general knowledge you need to know about food and your brain and body.
First off, your body needs fuel to move - even sitting around the house, your body is burning energy just to live. The more you move, the more fuel your body needs - ya'll know that already. But, how does the body use all that fuel? Well, think of what you eat like a chain: fat, protein, and then carbs. Your body burns them in that order, unless there's a problem (like if you drink alcohol - but that's another post!).
So, what does it do with all that food? First, if you work out even moderately to build muscle and work some cardio, then your body takes the fat and uses that for power. Then it uptakes the protein and converts it to muscle. THEN, the carbs kick in and get spent to power through to the next meal. This is why it's important to get enough of each of those items depending on your degree of energy output each day.
So, depriving yourself of carbs is not good on a long term basis, or if you are a moderate to high worker-outer because you NEED them to make insulin, which helps the process. Now, the cool thing about all this is that the complex carbs have a double plus - some contain tryptophan (an essential amino acid the body cannot make itself) which then converts to seratonin, which THEN converts to melatonin - and I don't have to tell you that seratonin is the neurotransmitter that helps you feel *cool* and the melatonin aids in sleep. In the right amounts, they DO NOT MAKE YOU FAT! In the wrong amounts, they mess with your ability to burn fat, which then gets stored. They also mess with your basic body function that is the MOST important one you do: SLEEP!
When you sleep, you should hit REM. When you hit REM, your body is in deepest sleep and - catch this - BECAUSE it's an /organic/ machine, it can HEAL ITSELF to a degree! So, the better sleep you get, the better you can function.
First tip, then, for brain/body health: SLEEP! And sleep well. Second tip is to eat the right amounts of "golden ratio" of fat/protein/carb. Replacing one meal of the day with a protein shake can help with this! BeachBody has a great one called Shakeology - the best one I've found on the market, and I've done a LOT of recent personal research on this very thing. If you are interested in more info on Shakeology, you can go to: www.myshakeology.com/jonnikhat
Some good links for further reading:
http://caloriecount.about.com/forums/maintaining/golden-ratio-carbs-protein-fat
http://frank.mtsu.edu/~studskl/food.html
http://www.livestrong.com/article/267111-tryptophan-l-tryptophan-to-help-aid-sleep/
Some tools:
http://www.freedieting.com/tools/nutrient_calculator.htm
My Introduction
I am totally psyched to be starting this blog! First off, welcome to you! If you are here, you are likely a friend or a client and your probably know I am a Mental Health Counselor as well as a Team BeachBody Coach on my way to a Personal Trainer certification. You likely also already know I am a mom of 3 kids, I raise Salukis, and have been extremely blessed to be married to an amazing man with whom I share my life. What you might not know is that I come to this stage in my life because I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was very young, and that it got worse and not better in my 20s when I was a model. However, I am the sort of person who makes lemonade out of lemons, and so - at the age of 39, I am pulling back to my roots of hyperactive passion to help myself and others succeed in the things we want. What I want is to reclaim an even healthier body than I've ever had, to continue to help myself and others conquer our addictions to unhealthy behaviors and thoughts, and to teach what I learn. So, welcome to my blog and to a bit of my life ~ helping others keeps ME accountable, as well, so your support helps me complete the circle of giving.
Here you will find my knowledge and support towards holistic healing and lifelong mind/body health, including how to break addictive patterns, to eat and exercise right, and to understand that YOUR BODY is an Organic Machine. How you care for it and train it to do is what you will get out of it! See, the thinking part of your brain is like a guide - in my practice, I call that inner voice the "Inner Sherpa" - just like a Himalayan guide, it can take you where you need to go if you listen to it and let it experience the world in the right way so it knows where to go. It's when we ignore the Sherpa that we get into trouble. You know exactly what I'm talking about! So, take control and let that Inner Sherpa do his job.
And, with that said, let's start this journey. Right?!!? Kick it to awesome and BE the awesome!
Here you will find my knowledge and support towards holistic healing and lifelong mind/body health, including how to break addictive patterns, to eat and exercise right, and to understand that YOUR BODY is an Organic Machine. How you care for it and train it to do is what you will get out of it! See, the thinking part of your brain is like a guide - in my practice, I call that inner voice the "Inner Sherpa" - just like a Himalayan guide, it can take you where you need to go if you listen to it and let it experience the world in the right way so it knows where to go. It's when we ignore the Sherpa that we get into trouble. You know exactly what I'm talking about! So, take control and let that Inner Sherpa do his job.
And, with that said, let's start this journey. Right?!!? Kick it to awesome and BE the awesome!
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